February 2, 2000
Culture Div. Class
My Personal Meditation
I was very skeptical and cautious about the lesson on meditation. A few years back I had taken a course on relaxation, which I had found to be only somewhat helpful. I was hoping to find another alternative to calm myself and release the stress. Although I became disbelieving of meditation-I was proved wrong.
After you told us to close our eyes, I had a hard time falling into the meditation. At first I felt uncomfortable and distressed. Thoughts kept revolving in my head and I could not get myself to let free. I wondered whether or not the never-ending gibberish you kept repeating was annoying anyone else. I was astonished at how long you kept repeating yourself without tiring.
After a while I found my own method and it had worked for me. Instead of listening to your words (which I became annoyed with) I blocked out every noise, word, racket the surrounded the room. I completely tuned out from reality and fell into the meditation.
I did not realize that I had fallen into the meditation until after I came out of it. I felt like I had detached from my body and floated away. My mind was completely relaxed and blank. Nothing like I pictured it to be. I just felt NOTHING! No noise, no thoughts, I felt at peace with myself.
It was hard for me to come out from the meditation because I had forced myself to block everything out and did not hear when you told us to open our eyes. Overall, it was a great experience and I found that it had relaxed me a great deal. However, I did not gain energy as you had so explained to us. I became very sleepy and peaceful. The only problem was that I had to go to work right after class. I work at a law firm, and being so relaxed did not help me at work. I was disconnected for the rest of the day. This, might be a great method for me to try on the days that I can not fall asleep.
I found that meditation id a self-realization. Meditation is like inner astronomy. You discover the stars, the moon, and the sun are all inside of you. The state is of consciousness with no emotion or feeling.
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