AN ODE 2 MY ANGEL Term Paper

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\'Change is the law of life,Challenge is the aim ,u hav to challenge the change,NOT CHANGE TH CHALLENGE\'said the 1st message,not lagging behind read the second s.m.s\'Before CONCLUDING WHAT IS GOOD/BAD remember tis,ters notin either good or bad but thinking makes it so\'.What ?...huh...what ?!!!!.. did she write this?asked my mind.What change are you talking about ANGEL?& what conclusions r u talkin about?,i asked myself,as if my angel resided within me,within my soul.I\'m a kind of guy who never makes any acquaintances&so,she was one of those few pepole who were my soul mates.Souls without whom my existence was impossible,so reading these just tore me to bits.To my best knowledge I have never let my SOULMATES down,even at the stake of my business.

POOJA was my so called last soul mate,whom i had surprisingly befriended,during my devastated phase of life.Yeah!!!,I had broken apart by the news of my exgirlfriend\'s marriage.It depressed me more so bcause ,we had broken up just five months back & how easily she had managed to repiece her life.Sensitive me had gone zombie & in the fit of deppression ,i was completely hooked on to DRUGS,CIGARETTES&BOOZE.To recover myself from the insanity,my father asked me to join his business.With much of coa by my family,I started helpin my dad in his supper market store.

\"Hi i\'m Pooja,didn\'t my uncle spoke to you about me?\".No clue about who she was or talking about,I just looked at her& was zapped by her radiant smile.\"Who\"I asked her.\"my uncle who supplies sweets at ur shop.basicaly i make chocolates,wrap them into nice,attractive gift boxes&supply them to have some\".I was stunned.I guess,what was attracting my brooding face was her radiant smile.Coming back to my senses I just tucked in,one of those tasty looking chocolates into my mouth.\"You make these chocolates at home?\" \"yes !...why aren\'t they good?\"doubting my question she replied.\"no no.....i just asked u! because they are the second best chocolates that i\'ve ever had in my life..aah wov girl\".No i wasnt faking it,those samples just floored me.All this while her eyes were trying to examine me.I suddenly became too conscious&lost my blissful composure.Now my face wasnt betraying any emotions.To avert her mind I broke the silence\"how old r u.......\"uugh!!......what..did I...did i say that.?..what for? i asked myself.\" m sorry for that oh its so not gentlemanly of me.....\",\"ah don\'t be. I\'m in my second year of B\'COM\"she interrupted smartly.\"Wow,that\'s great\"taking great care in what should i speak,i continued\"how do you manage to handle a business & still hav the time to go to college & study\".\"Oh there\'s always the time to do things that you always want to do\".Suddenly,a girl ,who was alien to me,had begun to sunk,into my soul.we spoke every other thing,then chocolates.she looked at her watch and jumped\"oh god!!! I\'m so sorry,mr???\"\"I dont even know your name\"she asked.\"Raja\"i told her.\"well Raja!,I\'ll move now I\' ve my lectures to attend,sorry!but I\'m already late\"& started leaving.she turned abruptly before taking a step,towards me and....\"I know,this may sound a bit too personal,but.......Raja!!!dont tie yourself into unbreakable chains of morose that gnaws you\",\"it will only kill you & thats not worth yourself\",saying this she left.BULLSEYE I said to myself.Not knowing what to do,I abruptly started running towards her,\"Pooja.....hey ....hey Pooja\",irrespective of wether tresspassers were lookin at me,I caught up with her.\"Pooja\"while gasping\"would u like to go out on a date with....h..hh..h me tomorrow so that we get to know eachoter better\".she started laughin hysterically&it did notin 2 elate my mood\"i would luv 2\"she said.\"tomorrow at 12.00 pm,jain temple near kabootar khanna at dadar station-central\"I blabbed.\"okay\"she said.\"& yes we\'ll have lunch togetherbye\".

We met,had our lunch at\'INDIAN SUMMER\',watched \'SIXTH SENSE\' movie and while driving back home she said\"I had a wonderful time thanks for a wonderful afternoon¬ to forget the evening\".That date had completely changed my life.We surprisingly became the best of pals together.Specially it was more shocking to me as I openly told her about my on-going crisis,to a person,whom I\'ve just met two days back.She could see me crying.I was still driving then,then suddenly she handed out a hanky&said\"please do away with your tears,for it obstruct your vision & we might land up having an accident\".For a second I looked at her astounded by her words,but then i saw tears running down her cheek&we both started laughing.Suddenly it struck me that,that it was only me who was blabbering,\"Hey enough of me now tell me something about you\".

She spoke\"I come from a very poor family.Reasons best known to them,my grandparents completely disowned us.My dad had to start from scratch.While I was 8yrs old my dad had a severe cardiac arrest.We instantly had to take a decision of sending my younger sister to my maternal grannys place.The days of suffering now became every minutes suffering,when my dad had a second severe attack,he had to leave his job&as it was our only source of income,all our savings got exhausted,my mom had to start doing all odd jobs from making sherbets,to making agarbattis,till she learnt the art of making chocolates.I coaxed her to commercialy start making chocolates& i helped them with the marketing.As I was in my 2nd year junior college,most my friends started helping me.They started getting orders from various places,even shops.Few suggested me to pack them beautifully in attractive packets&thus one thing led to other\".I was agap!!,here I was brooding&cribbing over so small a problem and she.........\"Raja\"as if she knew wat I was thinking,she said\"rather brooding over our problems&wasting our time sulking over it,ITS MORE IMPORTANT TO MOVE ON&GROW.

THIS NEW SOUL HAD NOT ONLY BROUGHT A FRIEND WITHIN BUT ALSO A SAVIOUR IN DISGUISE,MY ARMOUR.\"Angle I\'m pleased to have you as my Soul\"I told Pooja,the day she threw a surprise birthday party at\'CAFE MONDE\'S\'(this was 2 yrs later&yes now I called her my angel).I cried at the pleasant surprise,she came & hugged me.She then in her usual way handed over her hanky\"here wipe them other wise i\'ll need to call a plumber to fix up ur leakage problem\".We started laughing.While she turned around,to talk,to our other friends,I caught her hand&turned her abruptly,facing her towards me.\"I dont know why,but in my entire life,whenever,wherever,you\'ll need me,I\'ll always be there for you,GOD FORBIDS, this promise even stand\'s true when our relationship would not work for you.......this is a commitment for a lieftime,i was,am &will be,for sure\"........She looked into my eyes passionately and as if her heart was telling me she questioned me\"why do u feel that it might not work\".\" You know I\'ve always been unlucky for my souls& day... they leave me abruptly.......I think its because of my bad luck...\",\"Raja\"she retorted,stopping me in between \"nobody brings bad luck to anybody till they want to believe so.Infact GOD cascades them into our lives,not as a messangers for illfate,but as a dawn of love to make HIS presence felt\",\"the way he brought you into my....\" I replied,cutting her words.She looked at me for a few seconds & then hugged me.We made merry that day & how I wish now,that, that day would not have ended & how i wish my fears wouldn\'t have come true.......!!!

Her business was starting to grow at unexpected rate.Her deals after deals started clicking& now her supplies weren\'t restricted to Bombay only.Here her success was souring at an unexpected rate & there our relationship was getting strained,day by day,nights by nights.After three years of literally living each others life &facing every tribulations together,suddenly she started avoiding me.It was tough,but I could understand her work pressures.We started having small but bitter arguments& at times in rage of fury started speaking things which our hearts never accepted& the one fine day,she forgot my birthday,that was it.\"!!Wish u a very belated happy birthday..... why didn\'t you accept my bouqet of flowers\",\"Seven days later after my birthday,you call me to wish me &ask me why I didn\'t accept your bou.....\"I retorted.\"oh.....but a....I thought that it would be different to call u after 7 days,I a... wanted to make this birthday, a....a one to remember....& anyways all people tend to call up on ones see I wanted to be differrent\"she said with a guilt.\"Oh dont tell me that did forget my birthday didn\'t you\"I was wild with anger.Before she could say anyting,I abruptly banged the phone down.After a month of not calling her & not replying to her calls(which were a few,say thrice a week) ,I finally spoke to her\"we need to talk\",Okay I\'ll call you to fix up a time,when I\'m free\" she replied.We met after two days,as descided by her.\"Pooja whats the problem\"I asked.\"Nothing you are taking everything too seriously\"she replied.\"no there is.....I.... know.....,are you telling me that I\'m just cooking up everything\"\"why ???? why r u doin this\"i questioned her.\"ohh! pls don\'t condition our relationship to ur why\'s,what\'s&...whatever\" SHE RETORTED\"and Atleast not you,how rude you were when you told me that,I only call you up when I\'m free,so i\'ve descided,only to call u when i ll be able to remove a special time for you\"she said rudely.\"since when did \'TIT-for-TAT\'seeped into our relationship hh POOJA.....since when\",\"There were many a things you spoke to me but never did I reacted the way u did,I always tried to look at it the other way,that....that.... its due to your work pressure\"I confronted.She got up to leave\"bye ,I\'ve got to leave,I\'ve an appointment,I\'ll catch up with you later\".\"Pooja isn\'t asking me to unconditionaly accept you,is a condition in itself\"I asked,stopping her,by holding her.\"POOJA REMEMBER MY PROMISE THAT I HAD MADE TO YOU..........,I DO ABIDE TO IT AND THIS IS FOREVER...........&\"for a while,looking into her eyes\"I FREE U FROM ALL MY EXPECTATIONS BYE & TAKE CARE\"I completed my words.She turned to leave&\' i\' saw my life,my soul going.................. GOING AWAY FROM ME.

This was the last thing,that \'i\' had expected& it compyetely broke me.As it\'s said \'HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF\' I went back to my old devastated life that never had left me.There were many meals that \'i\' again skipped,many a nights that \'i\' didn\'t sleep but only cried\",then again to avert my mind \'i\' started slogging my butts out,at my shop.She called me many a times but \'i\' only spoke about how she was &how was everything with her.After getting a reply that was positive \'i\' would hang up.With me,even my family was suffering.To see his son going down to a wrong road,my parent\'s took a decision of packing my bags & sending me on a long tour to south of INDIA with my far off cousin.

\'Not change but growth is the law of life&aim is to grow without CHANGING\',i s.m.s.ed her back,yet the pain never left.Just to get it(the pain )out of my system\'i\' got out,onto a balcony,that was attached to my cottage,inOOTY,at 12.oo clock midnight,which overlooked a beautiful,yet a lonely valley.The moment \'i\'stepped out,the frosty winds entrapprd me in their claws.In my pair of pyjama&shirt,those frosty winds numbed me.It struck its numerous daggers into every inch of my body.My lungs gasping for air,my mind clogged,my body completely possesed by excruciating cold pain.It sent shivers through my body,with sheer effort,I ran back into my cottage.,closing down, the doors behind.My body still shivering,\'i\' drank a peg ful of vodka at one go,which \'i\' had filled up long ago.Bitter yet the warmth of the drink,clogged my whole body from within,uptill my throat.\'i\' coughed& my cousin woke up.\"what happened\" he asked.\'i\' lit a ciggarete& asked him to go back to sleep.\'i\' finished doping the bud&tried to go back to sleep,but to my astonishment,\'i\' heard a very distinct yet familiar voice.\'i\' saw around but there was no one.To assure myself,that it wasnt one of my cousins foolish tricks,\'i\' tried talking to him,but he was fast asleep.Was \'i\' hallucinating \'i\' thought.Suddenly somebody again tried to talk to me.This time it was much more clear&distinct\"Raja nobody could hurt you till you want to get hurt.Its not within the powers of others to hurt you,to devastate you.Rather being afraid about your destiny,your fate,your life,embrace it&enjoy every volleys of emotions.Do not mourn but celebrate life.If you know to befriend yourself,you might be lonely but not alone.Life is not about loosing or winning,as everyone has to loose to death,but its about how you loose is what makes u a winner all the way.

I started feeling drowsy& passed on to a deep slumber not before realising that it was my soul who was talking to me.FINALLY I HAD BEFRIENDED MY SOUL.I WAS NO MORE ALONE.

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